PDA moves that annoy everyone

Finding love is a wonderful thing but ODing on mush can make you lose friends and turn you into a social leper. Sometimes, couples tend to go a bit overboard with their display of affection. Would you ever hear a Jane Austen heroine call her man ‘cupcake’ or find Meg Ryan fussing over Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally in a baby voice? In great love stories, people never talked to their partners as if they were Lassie. Running around trees in chiffon sarees can only be a productof Bollywood’s imagination, looking like Chandni for a date in real lifeis not cool. So despite the delirious ecstasy, maintain yourdignity. To avoid awkwardness, make sure you don’t indulge in behavioursuch as this: While it’s cute to have nicknames for each other, keep themprivate. ‘Janoo’, ‘baboo’ and ‘chweetie-pie’are indicators of your maturity. It’s intrusive for an onlooker to witnesssuch behaviour and it leaves others out of the conversation. A definite no-no inthe social etiquette books. ‘I wuvvv you, baboo’ have tobe the most grating words spoken in the history of talking. Baby talk is a hugeturn-off, not only for onlookers but for partners as well.While youmay be unable to keep your hands off each other, pawing each other in public isjust icky. People aren’t usually terribly good sports about live tonsilhockey. And PDA will only get the moral police Nazis to frown on you. The onlypeople who might approve are the pervs of the world. Is that the kind ofattention you really want? Some couples feel the compulsion to constantlyupdate the world about their love lives with their status messages. They declaretheir love, send cyberkisses and put up peurile stuff like I-Heart-You for theirpartners. While that knowledge truly enriches our lives, sometimes less is more.Constant FB updates indicate an attention-seeking personality.Itshouldn’t take surgery to separate you from your partner. It’s okayto go out with your friends without dragging him/ her with you on a leash. Notall your friends will like your partner as a rule, and you may find yourself afew social invitations short if you insist on a package-deal appearance. Thisbuy-one-get-one free deal doesn’t work.Some women tend to go overboard to please a man. They will change their opinions to suit his. It doesn’t earn you respect either from a third party or your partner. The sexiest thing about a woman is that she has a mind of her own. If you have to play dumb to get affection from a man, rethink your relationship. Sometimes, the concept of boundaries tends to be flexible forcouples. They have no qualms about fighting or discussing intimate moments inpublic. Unless your friends are voyeurs, it’s a breach of every sense ofdecency. People who put their hands in each other’s pockets as theywalk, or when a guy protectively puts his arm around his girlfriend around othermen spells insecurity. You’re not her bodyguard, so learn to trust her.Trust issues in a relationship need to be examined deeply.Sitting on the same side of the table and staring into eachother’s eyes is a priceless sight we encounter in restaurants around thecity. Try not to feed each other in public. Your partner isn’t in diapersand does not need to be burped after the meal. The idea of sitting across atable was invented to give people space.Single people will never take kindly to being patronized by theircouple friends. Don’t nag them about their single status —it’s obvious that when they meet someone interesting, they will go for it.Besides, it’s none of your business and all your gushing abouthow wonderful your partner is doesn’t make you popular with your singlefriends. Namrata.Bhawnani@timesgroup.com